When Life Happens...

You let it happen.

There’s an influencer that always seems to find her way into my feed with this particular affirmation:

“I do not chase, I attract.”

I come to you with this piece about “Life happening” holding a cheap cider from Aldi (no shade guys) in my hand and I think that’s enough information about my current state of affairs.

Lets’s begin with a few reflections from the book “Friendaholic” by Elizabeth Day that a good friend gifted me via post (an art long lost if you ask me - we need more physical love through the letter box.)

I’ve always struggled with friendships. When I say struggle, I mean with them lasting. I am the common denominator so I’m in no way suggesting I was hard done by every time, but I realised not every ending was my fault. This isn’t a deep-dive but it’s been the start of an acceptance I never really knew how to approach with myself after being ghosted or let go of with no real explanation.

Nobody ever taught me how to deal with endings - only that they bring new beginnings but that leaves a huge gap somewhere in-between that I don’t really know what to do with.

---

Freya India’s ‘Girls’

The thing about this book is it made me realise the scrolling of half naked women and porn consumption isn’t normal and it’s not something I want in any man I ever choose to take seriously in my life. Girls are not products, except, well, they are when they become even more of a commodity than a human being. We are what we consume and when girls become just that, consumption for what they provide becomes a conveyor belt that burns because demand is so high.

It’s so normalised to “be ok” with boyfriends/partners/husbands viewing other women because that’s what “men do” that it becomes harder and harder to admit how hard it is to have a healthy relationship with a man who lusts instead of loves. As a woman I’m finding it harder to trust men than ever before.

---

‘The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo’

Read this in a day and gave myself a migraine. Took me seven hours. Such a fucking epic book. I heard great things but the storytelling was honestly phenomenal. So many reasons why people make decisions and those decisions are never ever public knowledge for a reason. You never know the whole story. Sometimes people aren’t who you think they are. Sometime people who proclaim to have everything actually have very little. Sometimes relationships are based on abuse, agenda’s and practicality. Love dies. We all die.

When you find love, it doesn’t always stay. When it leaves, you don’t chase what could have been, you let it go and with that you let them find happiness. Nobody is ours to keep.

I had a Teams call today and we chatted about where I want to go with the work I do with this charity. It was refreshing to ask myself that question and I realised how far I had come in what I could offer, and the fact that newer women had the fire I once had, meant everything I wanted to be part of had changed direction. So I’m now open to new opportunities because life happens that way. It’s all a timeline.

Chasing the past means rewinding the tape and hoping the song changes. Attracting the future means I can listen to songs and record my new favourites.

We lose, we win, we hurt and we laugh.

There’s never an ending to the uncertainty but there is a strange comfort in knowing your life doesn’t have a word written about tomorrow.

Life happens.

Until next time,

Michelle Bella x